Confusing times

"Do I want to what?" said Wendy.

"Sorry?" I said.

She looked at me somewhat confused. "You said: Wendy, do you want to..."

Emma noticed that I was trying really hard not to look at her and waved in my direction.

I turned to Wendy again, but she had already caught me and was looking over to where Emma was.

"You know that woman?" she asked.

"What? No!"

"She just waved and smiled at you."

"Why would she do so? She was probably waving at someone else," I lied again.

"It doesn't help your case if you can't ask me out because you start mumbling the second a bimbo walks in."

Right at that point I realised that Wendy was mad at me. I probably should have noticed earlier, but somehow I was constantly being distracted by things that seemed out of my control. Looking at it in retrospect I can see that all the time I was actually acting as a kid in the worst possible way. I needed my path set before me and then I would do nothing but bitch about it. I should have realised that I couldn't base my relationship with Wendy on lies, and I should have come clean at the beginning of it all. I am now not even sure if I would have liked Wendy so much if she hadn't liked me first. I also know now that I shouldn't have left Emma take control the way she did.

And most important of all, I should have had the talk on ethics and morals with Mark, instead of just indulging him with cheap sarcasm.

However, all these things came to me in retrospect. Right there and right then I was actually surprised that Wendy was mad at me. I really thought she had seen through my lies.

"Wha... No, I mean, I really..." I tried saying.

"Mumbling," chanted Wendy.

I risked another glance at Emma, she had taken a seat on an empty table from which she could look straight at me. She smiled when she realised I was looking and I averted her gaze. I tried another approach with Wendy.

"Look, I'm really sorry, you're right. I've being a bit distracted and I'm not being fair to you."

"Jay, I don't mean to sound silly or anything, but you seem distracted. You've been acting weird and I thought it was, you know, just normal nerves, but you know that if something is bugging you, you can talk to me about it, don't you?"

I sighed, I should tell her everything, just let it go and avoid making her (and me) uncomfortable. And then:

mecenas has come online.

I looked at Wendy again.

"You're right, you've been nothing but supportive and I've being acting like a jerk, I'm sorry."

Hey, I need to talk to you. Now.

I tried to ignore the message and focused on Wendy.

"I guess what I am trying to say is that I really like you and..."

I'm serious, now.

I moved my hand slightly, typed on thin air Not now and looked at Wendy again.

"...And I just wanted to ask you..." I said.

Ok.

"Would you mind if I changed my Facebook status for you?" I finally asked, Wendy's eyes glowed and she smiled. A fist came between us crashing the plate my pizza was on. Tomato sauce flew everywhere. The fist was attached to Emma's arm, and she was looking at me in anger.

"Hey!" protested Wendy.

"Shut up," said Emma, without even looking at her. "What the fuck are you playing at? I though we were supposed to have something special going on?"

"What?" said Wendy, while I was trying very hard to be somewhere else by pure force of will.

Emma looked at Wendy. It was the kind of look that can say what words can't. I was moving quite quickly between scared shitless and angry as fuck. Wendy looked at me and asked.

"He hasn't... You didn't, did you?"

"What? No!" I tried saying, though I was obviously not so good with direct lies.

I looked at Emma.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I screamed at her.

"I'm forcing you to react. I'm tired of you believing that this has nothing to do with you."

"You've got no right," I said.

Wendy's eyes darted between Emma and me, and she finally said "I don't need this" and got up for the door. I got up to follow and suddenly Emma's hand was on my chest. Despite her small frame she was so much stronger than me that she had no trouble pushing me back into the seat.

"Now you wait, and finish your pizza. Then we talk again and this time, we talk, you got that?" she said.

"What if I don't want to? What if I tell my brother about you?"

"Then we kill the girl."

Fuck. Touché.