Eating

I kept feeling my phone vibrating. Mark kept calling all the time and I was starting to seriously consider turning it off. I was having great fun at the comic store, the kind I used to have, where I would just hunt down old books and share funny anecdotes with Wendy. I kept feeling that my life was simpler, nicer like this. No death threats, no need to assassinate any one, no weird sex in crazy looking attics.

I looked at Wendy and felt guilty. I hadn't told her about the whole thing with Emma, as it was, after all, quite hard to explain. I really hoped I could keep her separated from the bits of my life that were caused by Mark but it felt hypocritical. I mean, we were only kind of dating, I wasn't really sure if the thing with Emma counted like infidelity and, after all, I could claim that I had been raped.

Yeah, sure.

I was mortifying myself with this. I really needed to confess but didn't want worry her or tell her about my brother. I started to think that maybe, just maybe, I should have stopped to think before I met her. I guess I'm not really the thinking type.

She got some vintage Marvel and was talking excitedly about zombies. I was distracted but managed to cope quite well. When she asked me if I wasn't buying anything I actually told her I was saving for a new gaming system and she actually believed it. Another lie. I was too damn good at them.

Lem's was a great little quaint Italian restaurant that served the best pizzas in town, and as we were waiting for ours to arrive she finally asked me.

“You should really ask the question one of these days, you know?” she said while sipping her Coke.

"What question?" I asked, knowing perfectly well what she was talking about.

"You haven't even changed your Facebook status, and this is our third date already."

I was freaking out. I was just thinking about how, five or six years later, we would be talking about these days, and how it was love at first e-mail, and then I would have to come out an say it. By the way, after our second date, when we were both thinking that this could work, I just happened to have sex with a hot expensive bodyguard. Then I realised that I shouldn't let this stuff get on the way of my personal life. I would have to tell Wendy about Emma, but right now, my mind was clear. I wanted to be with her. So I looked her in the eye, tried to regain my confidence, and failed.

"I've not been checking Internet lately that much, have you changed yours?" I asked, trying to avoid her implicit question.

"You are trying to avoid the subject."

"You're right, I'm sorry, I'm just a mess with these things." I smiled.

She smiled back, which lead me to believe that maybe I wasn't doing so bad, after all.

"No," she said. "I haven't changed mine either, but..."

The pizzas arrived, and suddenly she was looking at me, but she seemed distracted, as if her point of focus was somewhere a few inches in front of my face. Something about her expression seemed familiar, as if I'd had seen before.

"There, it's changed now," she said and smiled.

And then it hit me. I was used to checking my e-mail and browsing for stuff on my lenses, but I had never seen anybody do so before. At least, I had never been aware that people were doing it. The spaced out look, the focus on thin air, I remembered now that Emma had had that same look and suddenly I realised that it must have been the same thing. I don't know why, but the fact that Emma was wearing lenses suddenly seemed very important. I mean, surely if mecenas was using bodyguards, they would be connected to him somehow.

Wendy was still looking at me, expecting me to say or do something. I smiled and thought that everything would be fine and finally got my courage.

"Wendy, do you want to..." I started but got distracted.

Emma had just walked in.